The Little Things

Let's talk about joy. Probably my favorite topic to talk about because so many people ask me all the time "why are you so happy". Now let me tell you there is a major difference between being JOYFUL and being HAPPY. Being happy is a temporary state of being. I'm happy when I have a guest at my table that is pleasant to talk to, polite, caring and considerate of all my other tables I am waiting on.

My emotion of happiness can change instantly when I have the guy who answers my question of "how are you doing today" with 

"I'll have a diet coke"

 or "slow down this isn't the highway where your mouth runs a hundred miles per hour" (yes a guest actually said that so I made sure to annunciate each word to his liking as slowly as humanly possible.)

Even for someone who seems to be SO HAPPY all the time there are definite things that deter me from continually being in a state of happiness. 

HOWEVER WITH THAT BEING SAID I can say that I am consistently choosing to be JOYFUL. I look at joy as a choice. You choose to let the bad things go and find joy in all you do. On the Christian side of things, I have always loved the acronym Jesus Others Yourself in that order. I find that when I put my savior and others before myself, the things that are presumable important for me become less of a worry or care and I just want to serve and honor others. 

When you choose joy, you feel good. And when you feel good, you do good. And when you do good, you inspire others to do the same. 

For those of you who haven't found the joy in life, I encourage you to do a few things: don't sweat the small stuff (or the big stuff) and find the joy in the little things. 

THESE are my little things: 

1. A nice cup of coffee or tea
2. Drawing, painting, any artistic anything that I can do 
3. My husband (though he isn't a "little" part of my life I find anything we do brings me joy) 
4. Food, cooking, eating 
5. Sleeping or just doing nothing in bed 
6. Helping others no matter how big or small the task may be 
7. Reading my bible and praying 
8. LAUGHING (about anything and everything) 
9. Listening to music and singing to said music no matter how terrible I sound
10. Friends, family, strangers
11. Dancing, whenever, wherever, with whomever
12. Quiet alone times 

Those are just a few things but I focus on all those things to help me smile and enjoy living. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or unhappy or get mad at that guy who said my mouth is a race car, I do, see, find one of these things and forget the negative. I choose joy. I find joy. I am joy. 

My husband and I went to Ikea yesterday 

We are still married after our venture BUT while we were there, I couldn't help just watching him like a creep and smiling at the joy he brings me on top of the little things like the cute bowls I got, the 99 cent candle, the huge cutting board. Yes they are "things" and not all physical things bring you true joy in life but I focused more on the manner that I got them and who I got them with. It was the perfect day together. It could have easily been disastrous If I was more picky about things and wanted to buy the entire store but everything you do in life is about choices and attitude. If you want to be happy, be happy. If you don't have joy in your life, find the joy in your life. If you get easily upset over things take a breath, remember that it doesn't REALLY matter, and think of the things that do matter.

I don't know why this makes me laugh so much but there is some truth to this silliness. When you think about how short life is do you want to spend your time being happy or JOYFUL.

I choose JOY! 
You should too. 

I Like That Dress

As I have started this journey of decluttering my life, the weekends will serve as the best time to begin this process since I have Saturdays and Sundays off from work. I paced around my apartment trying to think of where to begin. The books I don't read anymore? The art supplies that are probably dried out and ruined? All things that seemed really daunting to begin at this moment in time especially while I had two loads of laundry already going. Then it hit me that the best place to start was with clothes. Especially with fall right around the corner it might be a good time to figure out if I'm actually going to wear anything from last season. 

Now if you know me, you know I love fashion. I LOVE shopping, even if I go and buy one shirt, it brings a joy to my life that is probably ridiculous but I don't care. That gray sweater is cozy and will comfort me when I drink tea, watch movies, run errands, and be with me for all the things I do in life. That one sweater has great value to me. HOWEVER I have acquired a lot of sweaters and other clothing items that are essentially the exact same things. It's time to sift through the clones and find the originals!

 This is my closet: a small portion of my clothing resides here. I have 6 other drawers that serve their own organizational purposes:

1. Socks, intimates, tank tops
2. T-shirts and blouses
3. Shorts and pants
4. Workout clothes
5. Scarfs and belts
6. Pajamas 

SOUNDS PRETTY RIDICULOUS but I went through all those first and got rid of A TON of t-shirts from summer camps, random events, and other nonsense. That, I will admit, wasn't that hard. Half those things I would wear when I paint, clean, just crappy T-shirts. 

THE REAL CHALLENGE is attacking the closet. As you can see, my closet is crammed with clothing. My half is to the right and it is extended to the right more than the picture shows. It's obnoxious. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE CLOTHES the way Kyle loves his video games. So how do I detach myself from the clothes I presumable "can't live without". 

This is the question I asked myself with every piece I pulled out of my closet. BUT THEN something absolutely AMAZING happened. Every piece of clothing I own in my closet magically had some sort of great meaning in my life! 

LITERALLY THIS WAS MY LIFE FOR THE PAST HOUR 

I kept asking myself "would I buy this right now" but then I said "well I already have it, and I would wear it here if this scenario ever happened"etc. etc. I was justifying my clothes as if they were being judged. 

Batman understands. 

Finally I pulled it together and just pulled out all the stuff I haven't worn in the past 6 months or at least that I can remember. Some were easier to throw in the pile than others, but by the end, I was a champion of the closet de-cluttering. 

Here it is: in all it's 25% cut down glory! It even just LOOKS BETTER! 

I stood there, hands on my waist smiling at the first step to not caring so much. I now only had clothes that I truly enjoy wearing, that aren't just taking up unnecessary space in my closet. AND I can actually spread them out and see what I have now! 

It is also so wonderful to know that I am giving away some wonderful clothes to those who need it far more than I do. (I won't be donating the junky T's, just the good ones)

Let's Admire This Beaut:

It doesn't look as big as it actually is in person but I promise you, that's probably MORE than 25% of my wardrobe! I sent this picture to my husband (he is currently working) because I was SO proud of the progress that I made tonight! EVEN SHOES! I forgot to mention the amount of SHOES I am getting rid of! So when I sent him this picture, the first thing he asked me was if that was the "getting rid of pile." I replied yes and he said "I like that dress". INSTANTLY I knew what dress he was referring to. It was a dress I was on the fence about getting rid of: the dress I wore on our honeymoon.

GUESS IT'S KIND OF ROMANTIC that it was the dress I wore on our honeymoon, and the fact that he likes it, so I pulled back ONE THING from the mound. Still got a lot accomplished and it's a small start BUT at least I got something STARTED!

Now I have to wear that dress somewhere!

Complexity causes Anxiety

I've never thought of myself as a complex person. I'm sure my husband would disagree since I say "fine" when he knows I am clearly not fine. I however find my attitude towards life to be simple. I want to be a nurse. I love my savior Jesus Christ. I like food. I like art. I like to smile and laugh. I'm not a complex person when it comes to knowing what it is I want out of life. There are, however, a few things in life that I find create anxiety because of their complexity. Money: the root of all evil. Money gives me great anxiety and worry when I very well know that it shouldn't affect my happiness. I will admit that over the past three years of marriage I have definitely mellowed out when it comes to finances. God always provides even when I think we won't make it, we always see another month and live another day. We are very lucky blessed and fortunate to have all that we have and I am thankful everyday. I however, in recent months have thought about what it is I really NEED in life. After traveling to the Dominican Republic with a church from my hometown in Connecticut, I did a lot of thinking when I came back about how ridiculously large my apartment is, how many things just sit around and serve no purpose, how there is so much clutter and unnecessary crap in my life. I found that the Dominicans found a joy unlike any other because their lives weren't about the things they had but more so the things that kept them alive. It made me really rethink how it is and where it is I am living.

Another anxiety of mine is work. I am sure everyone's job causes stress and unhappiness and I don't want it to be that way for me. Every job will have it's days but I am trying to refocus my energy and positivity into the important things in life. I'm not going to take my job with me when I die so to put forth so much energy in being a waitress is just crazy. I leave work at work and keep try to focus my energy on the important things like being a wife, making art, eating good food, making lasting relationships. These things are what I find to be stress free!

My husband has had no problem with thinking about a simpler life. He knows exactly what it is he needs: internet for his love of gaming/ internet usage, and lots of land with limited human interaction.  It's not that he doesn't like people but myself and Kyle enjoy the privacy of our own home to be alone together in the middle of no man's land in the woods just seems so appealing to the both of us.

SO what's the point of this first post since I have done the inevitable and rambled on for three paragraphs? Welcome to the adventures of Kyle and Emily where you will witness us SIMPLIFYING our life to create a HOME, not a house. A FAMILY, not a house of strangers, a HAPPINESS, not sadness. A life of CALMNESS, TRANQUILITY, AND KINDNESS instead of the anxieties created by the complexities of what America has created to be "the American Dream".

Join us on our journey of downsizing.